Master Tim Coaching

Archive for October 2017

The Master’ Voice #11: A Day in the Life of a Slave.

Today’s post is told mostly by my alpha slave whom some of you have met. A few months ago we marked ten years together which is something I am so proud of him for. That is not just for ten years of serving my exclusively, but for the amazing young man he has become and continues to grow as. Over to him:

This is something I’ve been thinking about for a while, the kind of resource I wish I’d had back when I first started looking into the world of submission. I’m going to attempt to describe a day in the life of a slave – specifically, a day in my life with Master Tim.

I’ve cautioned readers before that a lot of what I write here is based on my own personal experience and shouldn’t be taken as universal truth. I’m sure there’ll be people reading this who don’t recognize themselves in what I’ve written here, or whose concept of submission is radically different to mine. If that’s the case, please do leave your thoughts in the comments section. It would be great to hear from people with different experiences!

With the disclaimer out of the way, let’s get started! What follows is a brief overview of what an average day as Master Tim’s slave is like for me.

First of all, I should point out that I don’t live with Master Tim, but in the space of a year we do spend a lot of time together. When I’m not with him we communicate with each other daily (actually several times daily!), but this is going to be an account of a day when I am staying with him.

On a normal day, he’ll usually come and wake me up sometime around eight or nine o’ clock. The first order of business for me is to make coffee or tea for both of us and then prepare breakfast. This is something I’d do for myself anyway, but I enjoy doing it for him. When breakfast is over I usually tidy up the kitchen and empty the dishwasher so that he doesn’t have to worry about it.

If that all sounds tediously vanilla, let me introduce something a bit more ‘BDSM-ish’. When I’m at home with Master Tim I wear a leather collar most of the time. (And when I say ‘most of the time’, it includes when I’m doing such exciting things as having dinner or watching TV. If this seems strange to you, you’re probably looking for a different submission experience to me!) However, it tends to irritate the skin around my neck, so I ask him to put it on me after I’ve had a shower.

This is one of those things where real life and fantasy don’t necessarily coincide. Ideally I’d like to wear it all the time, but occasionally that’s not practical. Of course, it would cause some problems if I was to wear it around outside, so I don’t do that. I bring this up only to highlight the fact that the mundane facts of life do sometimes intrude on our idealized versions of reality. In this regard, being a submissive is no different being any other kind of person. Sometimes you have to make compromises! To mark our recent anniversary Master Tim locked a stylish black necklace on me. Only he has the code and I have happily worn it ever since, as a constant reminder of him.

After breakfast, I’ll usually accompany Master Tim on whatever else he’s doing throughout the day. I’ve always tried to be a useful companion to him, which for me means enhancing his everyday life rather than expecting him to cater exclusively to me when I’m with him. I look for ways to assist him with things, even if it’s something as simple as tying his shoelaces, or carrying the shopping from Tesco.

When we’re out and about together I like to maintain my role in subtle but important ways. For example, where practical I always walk on his left hand side just a short pace behind him. I also open doors for him and carry any bags or shopping that we take with us or gather while we’re out.

Again, this might all sound painfully boring to you, but to me it gets right to the heart of being the particular kind of submissive known as a ‘slave’. I can think of no greater expression of submission than striving to be someone who enhances my Master’s life whenever I can.

That includes anything related to sex, which I haven’t mentioned yet. I believe that I should make any kind of sexual activity as pleasureable as possible for Master Tim – which isn’t to say that I don’t enjoy it as well. I do, a lot! But I think that a part of choosing to submit as a slave is to always have your Master’s pleasure in mind – regardless of the circumstances.

By now you hopefully see why I’ve been harping on about keeping compatibility in mind when you’re seeking out a Dominant/submissive relationship. If you’re looking to be a full-time slave, there’ll be a lot of times when you’re not doing typically ‘BDSM’ things. You’re unlikely to find what you’re looking for if you don’t meet someone who you enjoy being around. Thankfully, I’ve been very lucky in that regard!

-Alpha Slave

The Master’s Voice #10 Seeking the Perfect Sub.

In the previous post I considered one particular type of submissive but they are not my only ‘type’. I’m often asked both by Doms and subs to define my ideal sub. What is it that I’m looking for when I’m recruiting? Maybe my criteria are not the most obvious choices, but for me they are the factors which will lift a new sub out from the crowd –  and believe me, the crowd is huge! There really are way more subs than Doms out there, both male and female, so a Dom can afford to be choosy and the sub needs to stand out as unique.

The most attractive feature to me is the right attitude. Yes, of course I look for a certain submissiveness but it needs more than that. Some submissives come looking for another man to take control of them and their lives because they are unable to manage their own affairs. I drop those like hot bricks. If you are unable to manage your own life then you are certainly not going to add any value to mine. Sadly, there are Doms out there who will swoop on the helpless and take advantage of them for their own selfish pleasure, so beware.

Another part of the right attitude is open mindedness. By that I mean a readiness to learn and a desire to experience new things.

Many of my peers express surprise at how much I enjoy working with novice subs. They see them as hard work but I see them instead as eager, fresh, hungry, grateful and mostly unpolluted by bad habits. Don’t get me wrong, I see many subs who are very experienced and very good. They, however, happen mostly to be the ones who originally came to me as novices and years later they are still returning and we are able to ‘play’ together with the ease and familiarity of a pair of well worn but comfortable shoes. Oh, and a good sense of humour and some level of self awareness are essential qualifications too.

It has often been my experience that older and more experienced subs come to the negotiations with a fixed agenda and a wish list of the things they need to have done to them. They will try to lead from the bottom in a way which leaves no room for a versatile and creative Dom to lead or dominate effectively.

The biggest turn on for me with a novice sub is the feedback I get both verbally and non-verbally as they experience something new for the first time. I expect every sane sub to come with limits, but in our negotiations I try to identify two types as we discuss them. First there are the hard limits, which must be respected without compromise. Secondly there are the ‘soft limits’ and these are carefully stored away for future investigation. Soft limits are the ones which elicit responses like ‘I’m not sure’, ‘not yet’ or, ‘I’ve not heard of that one before’. These soft limits often define the areas to be explored as trust is built and limits are being expanded.

One big difference between casual one-night-stand encounters and and the well-prepared repeat visits is that the former will almost always be the only encounter. First play-dates are often the clumsiest with fears and anxieties ensuring that things do not always go smoothly. The sub is eager to please but nervous, so when the Dom attempts to impress by going through the entire toy-box they will probably experience sensory overload and be too timid or embarrassed to return again.

I prefer the laid back approach and my main aim for a first session is to leave the sub wanting another one! In just the same way I hope I have left you wanting the next episode of this blog series!

The Master’s Voice #9: BDSM and Sexuality.

Yesterday’s post on here was presented in the form of an interview with one of my long-standing heterosexual subs. That, as expected, generated a great deal of feedback which was mostly very positive. The hottest thread of the conversation was no great surprise, as it’s a conversation I’ve been fielding for many years. It took the form of comments or questions such as “He’s not really straight though is he?” or “He’s gay/bi but just doesn’t know it yet,” or even “He’s just too scared to admit that he is gay.” and worst of all, “when he is tied up you should just fuck him. That will sort him out.” Are you serious?

I now want to dispel a few myths and clarify this whole gay vs. straight question in BDSM. I know that there are some who will never agree with my statements here but they are based on forty years of experience, discussion and observation.

Of course I understand the excitement of the whole idea of a gay man having sex with a straight guy. It is the stuff of fantasy and porn and I’m sure the same exists for the ladies too. The first myth to be dispelled it the notion that BDSM and sex are interdependent. Of course they can be and they often are, but they certainly do not have to be. They are two very different things and I believe that in essence they are not related. The need to submit. The desire to give oneself to another is far more basic than the desire for sex. If a heterosexual man has a powerful desire to experience submission, debasement, humiliation or emasculation, then surely there is no more extreme form than submitting to a gay Dom.

Of course sex can play a part in that loss of control. For some the fear of sexual use adds something to the feeling of submission. Some straight guys will even allow sex as part of the BDSM package either because they see it as the Dom’s right, or that they deserve it to happen in some way. Of course, it must be understood that even in these latter situations, the sex is still consensual and must never be otherwise.

I have learned to always keep two important ideas in my mind . I think in ‘grey scales’ where every individual sits on a line somewhere between black and white but rarely at either extreme. In the contexts we are considering here, the two lines are:

A) The Dom/sub scale where one end is 100% Dom and the other is 100% sub,

B) The gay/straight scale where one end is 100% gay and the other is 100% straight. Maybe true bisexuality lies midway between these two but it could be seen as a whole new greyscale of it’s own.

I believe that each individual sits in their own unique position on each of the scales and no two people will be the same. This for me is both the challenge and the excitement in the whole process. Every person I encounter has their own unique story. Everyone has their own set of needs, desires, experiences and limits. Perhaps this is best explained if I introduce you to some of the non-gay subs that I am proud to know or have known over the years. I am disguising their names but they will recognise themselves and some will recognise each other where they have met with me.

1) Pete: (see picture) Young, successful, wealthy, fit, entrepreneur. Pete liked to be used in rough roleplay scenes where he was ‘forcibly’ stripped and dominated up to and including ‘forced’ sex and mock ‘rape’ scenes. Pete identified as straight and he would arrive with his own video camera to record the session for replay to his girlfriend in their own kinky sex sessions!

2) Bob: Happily married very masculine guy who identifies as straight/bi. Visits once a month for utterly submissive sessions including humiliation and full D/s sex. After almost 20 years of this we have few limits.

3) James: Happily partnered straight guy who likes to submit and worship his Dom. At first this was completely non-sexual but over several years more and more sex was introduced at his request and it is now a regular part of each session. Ever since the first session, James has a tendency to ‘vanish’ after each visit for varying periods of time. This possibly allows for feelings of guilt to be resolved before he gives in to the need and calls again.

4) Harry: Bi guy who lives with his long term female partner and child. Harry is a successful business man in a position of great power and responsibility. Harry likes to escape periodically in order to experience intense bondage, and moderate pain. Sex is seen as the right of the Dom to take as part of the domination.

5) Al: Married guy who identifies as bi but believes that if he’d had access to the internet earlier in his life then he may not have married but chosen a different path. Al is a kinky sub but has a strong sense of duty and is genuinely devoted to his wife and child so would change nothing now.

6) Terry: First appeared as a 19yr old straight lad seeking use as a leather and bondage sub only. After about two years he started to ask for sex to be included in the sessions but during this time he met the girl of his dreams so he retired from the BDSM life to get married and have children. Fast forward several years and Terry was exploring kinky sex with his willing wife. He now identified as bi and not only came out to his wife but told her about his one time Master who he wanted to see again. Not only did he return as a very fit and sexy 32yr old but it was with his wife’s full knowledge. I even chatted with Terry’s wife on the phone and on one occasion I sent phone pics to her during a live BDSM session with him.

7) Ropesub: You have already met him when I interviewed him for Master’s Voice #8. This bondage sub identifies as completely straight but he is partly turned on by the fear of gay sex. He depends on the certainty that I will never break his trust.

This list is not complete but I hope that it paints a useful picture. There are no rules other that consent and labels rarely fit. We must abandon outdated and irrelevant roles and instead treat each person as a unique and special individual.

It is worth mentioning here that of the seven guys listed above, five of them had first sought out female Dominatrixes. In each case they mentioned the same reason for turning to gay male doms. They all found themselves serving Dommes who they saw as physically weaker than they were and so some part of the much needed control was missing. It was only when they gave themselves to male Doms that they felt physically dominated. I do not believe that to be a universal state at all but it was what worked for them.

In conclusion I can only urge that we forget traditional labels and start seeing ‘people’. Then the opportunities for mutual fun and satisfaction are endless.

The Master’s Voice #8: Tie Me. Tease Me.

The main body of today’s post will take the form of an interview with a sexy guy who has served me as a bondage sub for many years now. This allows me to introduce two new topics to the series and I will be expanding on both of them in the future. First is the fun to be had with bondage and bondage subs. The second is the hot topic of straight (heterosexual) subs giving themselves to gay Doms. The lead character in today’s blog post is an enthusiastic bondage sub who is a fully paid-up straight male with no interest at all in m/m sex.

Rope Sub (RS) has visited regularly for several years and is a highly intelligent and articulate guy who lives with his long term girlfriend who knows of his kinky desires but who has no interest in them at all. As far as I am aware she has no idea what he does with me and so discretion was one of the most important factors in our meetings from the start. For that reason I never contact him directly, nor do I know his name or address. This adds to the whole scenario for him and our confidence in each other after so many years, renders such details irrelevant. Rope Sub was happy to be interviewed for this blog and so I posed a few simple questions and here is the result.

Mr T: What makes you submit to a gay bondage Master?

R.S:  For as long as I can remember the idea of being tied up and helpless excited me, long before I knew that these urges were sexual. For many years I believed that I wanted bondage with women, and to a great extent that remains true, but only with myself as the dominant party. However, I found it unsatisfying to be tied by women, and once I started researching the issue online I discovered that all the male bondage imagery that really excited me was by gay bondage tops. My early experiences with male tops, who were all gay, were under the strict condition that there not be a sexual element to the play. This seems odd, as bondage play for me is inherently sexual. However, I remain straight (in that I am not attracted to men) and did not want the play to go too far. Gradually I relaxed my strict limits and was tied naked, and then one day a top began teasing my cock while I was tied. This was scary but felt good, and I realised bondage with men could contain a sexual element without it going too far. Of course, I then met you. Before you I had only met other tops once or twice before they moved, I moved, or they wanted to push my limits further than I was comfortable with. Regular sessions with you enabled me to build up trust and enjoy the sessions more. For me, submission is only possible through the exacting application of effective ropes and gags, which you are able to provide. And of course, you make teasing my cock into an art form, so I’m always begging for more! Consequently it has been a long and complicated road to get to the point where I willingly submit regularly to a gay master, but I’m so glad I have arrived now! The key point I guess is that I can only submit through strict bondage and merciless cock teasing, which you provide!

Mr. T: What’s going through your mind on the way to a session?

R.S: The journey to a session is always a strange period. It takes at least 45 mins to drive to you, and during all of that time I am excited at the thought of what the session may involve, what your plans for me are. On the other hand, the mundane details of driving to you also intrude. In my regular life the idea of allowing another man to strip, bind and gag me would be totally incongruous, so it is important I try to block the mundane details out so I can stay in ‘bondage mode’. For this reason, I often play with my cock in the car to keep myself hard, and never have the radio on. I am focussing, or trying to focus, on getting to you as fast as possible so you can put me in bondage. After that, my nerves and normal life will fall away and be replaced only by a love of the ropes, and of being bound in them by you. The 5% of me which needs to be kept roped up and gagged is a very important part of me, and you keep it well and truly satisfied. Really looking forward to making more sexy pics and videos with you too (anonymous of course), really go to town on me with the ropes, as always I shall be trying to escape.

Mr. T: Does it bother you that when others see those pics they question whether you are really ‘straight’?

R.S: Hehe I love that some people doubt that I am straight, I guess that is inevitable! In the early days I met some bondage tops who didn’t want to believe it either and tried to push my limits or even force me to have sex with them. Right from the start you have never questioned that or tried to change it. Knowing that you could take advantage of me is part of the thrill. Knowing that you won’t is what lets me completely submit to you. In fact sometimes I feel guilty after our sessions that I am being unfair not allowing you to use me fully!

Mr.T: You know I disagree with that! The fun goes both ways and I get as much out of tying up a struggling, good looking, straight sub as you do being on the receiving end.

What are your thoughts during a session?

R.S: During a session my nerves (Yes I still have nerves!) fall away and the overwhelming feeling is of being excited and aroused. Two things are uppermost in my mind. (1) Imagining how I look (the aesthetics of restraint are very important to me) and (2) the physical sensations I am experiencing. Obviously this includes the feel of the restraints, gag and hood/blindfold, but also the feel of your hands on me. The things that arouse me the most are rope bondage and gags, so real highlights of the session and feeling the rope being applied, and the times when you gag me, especially when I try and resist and you force the gag in. Despite being straight I have a big oral fixation and love having a gag rammed into my mouth and buckled tight, the bigger the better! As the session continues I am quickly reduced to total submission by your bondage, your teasing of my body and your words. I like that you are physically strong and can force me into the bondage, as this adds to the feeling that choice and free will have been taken from me. Also, being straight it adds to the feeling that I have been taken prisoner by a predatory gay man for his nefarious wishes, which is a very compelling scenario for me! By the end, when you have me rock hard and begging through my gag for release, you have broken my will completely and I am yours. My cock felt like it was going to explode last time.

(It’s hard to concentrate at work now when all I want is to be roped up on your bed….)

Mr.T: HeHe I seem to remember it pretty much did explode! How do you feel when you leave or later on at home?

R.S: Once you let me come my mind becomes very peaceful as I savour the pleasure I have just experienced and I remain very calm while you begin the (often lengthy!) process of untying me. Once I come my need for bondage evaporates but I still feel under your control until the gag is removed, which for me marks the real end to the session. Thereafter my everyday life comes crowding back into my mind and I seek to head off as quickly as possible. This is not because I do not want to be with you but because the other 95% of my mind, seemingly aghast at what the 5% has just done, demands I get back to normality very quickly. However, I am always keen to see the pictures/video of the session, which allow me to relive the session in my mind until we can meet again. I like being one of your boys, even if not as committed as some!

Mr.T: Just as well since I like having you as one of my boys and as I have said before I do not see your limits as a handicap.

R.S: Hehe I meant more that I only make fleeting visits unlike some of your other boys. I wonder if I will ever meet them!

Mr.T: Would you like to?

R.S: I’m not sure really. As I say the one time I was tied up with another guy it was a bit strange, plus I might want your attention all to myself!

Mr.T Greedy boy! Lol

R.S: When it feels so good I feel justified in my greed!

I should say that RS is a very good looking young guy with the most incredible baby blue eyes which I imagine could get him into all kinds of trouble! His love of the ropes and the aesthetics of the tying gives me the opportunity to practice my rope skills particularly the art of Shibari. As you see by his comments, he worries that I will be left unfulfilled but that really is not the case. If anything I enjoy working on him knowing that the ropework is so satisfying for it’s own sake but also that my efforts can get a straight guy so turned on that I can have him begging for sexual release. BDSM can be, and often is enough on its own and sexual release is not essential. It is all about the consensual power exchange.